So, my last post was in February. Ooops!! A lot has happened since. Here goes! I hope your comfortable because it's about to get lengthy!!
Recap: February - I went for my first IUI. It was a failure. No baby....I was pretty crushed. I had really set myself up only to feel like someone pulled the rug out from under me. It wasn't a good time for me. Dr. Rushing said in the beginning that he would perform up to 3 IUI before referring me to the RE. I couldn't handle doing another and having it fail, so we decided that we needed to take a break and reassess.
We avoided Cycle 12. It was a breath of fresh air to not worry about TTC. I needed that break for my mental and emotional health. We had also decided to take it easy until the end of the summer (but as you will read that didn't happen) ;)
Once cycle 13 rolled around mid-March I was back on the train. I tried to take it a little less serious this time. No meds, no charting, no tests, etc. Just having fun!! And it was.....for a while but I am too much of a control freak to throw it all to the wind. That cycle ended and I was sad again. Still no baby.
Cycle 14...Here we were back to April where this all began a year earlier. We had come full circle and had nothing to show. That was pretty hard but we pressed on. This month would prove to be a booger. When I was on Clomid months prior, I could always tell when my body was gearing up to ovulate. I would get pains and twinges around my ovaries, becoming more intense up to ovulation. I was surprised when I began feeling this process begin as if I were on the medication, only it was my 3rd cycle OFF of it. Strange. As I got closer and closer to my perceived ovulation the pain become more and more intense. More so than anything I ever felt before. At times I was doubled over in pain, or laid up on the couch bloated and hurting so bad I didn't want to move. I thought my left ovary was going to explode. All of this happened over the weekend. So, first thing Monday morning I called the doctor's office and they got me in that afternoon. I thought I had ovulated over the weekend but was still pretty sore. This was not normal.
They brought me in for a vaginal ultrasound to show that I had a fairly large cyst on my left ovary. It also showed that I did, in fact, ovulate. Great and with NO MEDS!! But it hurt like crap!! Dr. Rushing suggested we go forward with a diagnostic laparoscopy to make sure there weren't further problems going on inside that might be prohibiting us from getting pregnant. I was up for anything at this point. I was so emotionally drained and begged for answers. He alluded to the possibility of endometriosis because I was showing many of the signs. The only way to know was surgery.
I have to say that this appointment was a turning point for me with my doctor. I have always liked and respected him but not as much until now. I was explaining to him how desperate I was feeling. I needed answers and I felt like a failure. As I was fighting back tears and trying to be strong he told me everything I needed to hear from him. He said, everything I am feeling and going through is so normal and he totally 'gets it'. There was many more words but I cannot remember now. What I remember that matters the most was the amount of care, concern and compassion he shared with me in the few moments. I really felt like we were on the same page and that he was listening to my concerns. I was in awe. I wanted to give him a hug but I refrained. I feel so lucky to have him as my doctor.
We scheduled my lap surgery for May 19th, after my period was supposed to show, just in case I was pregnant....ha.....I'm not that lucky! ;)
May 19th came after much nervousness and anxiety. I went in for surgery at The Surgery Center of Huntsville, great people!! They gave me some good drugs to help me relax and then they whisked me off. So thankful to have Matt by my side through it all. He's my rock. My surgery went well. I didn't have endo after all!! Great!! I did, however, have some scar tissue and my ovaries were stuck to my pelvis. Weird! How does that happen?? Dr. R said that was most likely what was causing my pain.
Recovery was pretty smooth. I was down for about a day but after that I was itching to get moving. The pain meds helped a lot too. ;) I had taken off the rest of the week after surgery so I had a good 5 days of healing.
2 weeks later I had my post-operation appointment. Incisions looked good, pain was gone. We missed ovulation but that's ok I suppose. (I say that now but I was an emotional wreck throwing a cycle away.) I needed to heal up. At my appointment we talked about what options I had left. There pretty much weren't any unless I was willing do continue on my own and I am not.
Dr. R referred me to Dr. Harper, the only (and supposedly best) RE in Huntsville. I knew this was coming and had toyed with the idea of going sooner but I wasn't ready, until now. It's still a lot to take in that we need medical intervention to get pregnant when we had it so easy with Lyla. I am beginning to accept it though.
I got a call that my first appointment and consultation with Dr. Harper would be JULY 28!!! My heart sank!! That was 8 weeks away!!! I had been pre-warned that it takes a long time to get in to see him, so I got over it pretty quick.
Well....................today I got a call from Dr. Harper's office that they had a cancellation!! My new appointment is June 8!!!!!!! That's next week!!! I am so excited!!!! Eeeeeeeek!! I look forward to talking to him and forming a plan. I am nervous but very excited to be on a more aggressive track now! As you can see, 'taking is easy' as I mentioned before isn't really happening!! Lol!! Summer is here and the ball is about to moving at full force!
If you made it this far, I am proud! I know that was a lot of reading!! I will update after my appointment next week!!
No comments:
Post a Comment